Chapter 45: The Gardener

Dear reader

Wow. You look ravishing today; I want to plant you in a field :)

Recently I have been working on the garden at the back of my house. I usually start by mowing the lawn, raking the grass, trimming the beds and then pulling out the weeds. When we first arrived to the house the previous tenants had let it go wild. The grass was knee high, the weeds were a semi-jungle, the trees overgrown. Bit by bit we restored it to its former glory, and call this strange, but seeing the results made me satisfied This as usual, had me thinking.

I believe that the outer world represents the inner world. If you visited a house and its garden was blooming, its lawns mowed, and its grass green and lively, you would assume that the house owners were living well; that their life was together. Just as when you are stressed out, or you have exams, or a busy schedule, your house will get messy very quickly. The magic happens when you can maintain clean and ordered surroundings while living in a situation of chaos. If you can be the rock in the stream, you can manage difficulties a lot easier and prevent them from becoming worse.

Being a virgo apparently helps with being tidy. I have always operated better when my surroundings are clean: it gives me clarity of thought and peace of mind. Instead of avoiding the tasks that needed to be done, I embrace them. Work, as I have previously blogged, is a teacher. A teacher whose best interests is you. The sweat that you pour in the garden is the water that brings forth fruit and flowers. The gardener is a great analogy not just for our working lives, but for the journey of life itself.

Chapter 44: The Hermit

Dear reader

Do you believe in mermaids? :) Not to worry. I'll put a fish tail on both of us ;)

Who knows if mermaids exist? I would love to believe it. It is important to remember that just as the world above the water is infinitely expansive with its skyscrapers, boulevards, aeroplanes and space stations, so too is the world beneath the water. The inner world is just as infinite as the outer one.

You might know someone in your life who you call "deeeeeep". Quite often, but not always, they are walking alone. You see them in the parks sitting under a tree reading a book. You see them at school with their heads elsewhere. These are the people who yawn when you talk gossip, and want to kiss you when you talk about philosophy, spirituality and personal development.

I guess I would call myself a hermit. A hippy, an introvert, a donkey. Whatever you want to call me :). The point is not in the label but in the feeling. Being alone helps us to escape reality. The question is why would we want to escape?

The world is dragging us around,  shouting down our ears, and posting advertisements through our door. Generally it is a very noisy place that demands all of our energy and senses for us to survive it. Culture demands that we change ourselves and act in a certain way to fit in. Hermits just want to breath. "Relaaaaax maaaaaan". Sometimes we need a break, and the hermit adores silence.

Chapter 43: Letting Go

Dear reader

You're the disco ball of this blog :). Keep on shining.

Letting go. Believe me, we have all been there. Walking into a club with those feelings of anxiety, worried about how you look, feeling those workplace vibes: "keep your head down". Do you notice that most people go straight to the bar when they enter a venue? The first thing people want to do is let go with alcohol, because alcohol was "designed" for that reason. The way I feel when I drink alcohol is a numbness. My senses go hazy, and I cannot appreciate the moment. What I realized is that all of us have a natural ability to raise our state and vibes. Drink alcohol if it helps you, but also see the alternative. A way to let go, with anyone, any time, anywhere. This is how to let go.

If we call this desired feeling "state", the first thing to realize is that getting there doesn't happen when you get to the venue. It happens way before that, hours before. Ideally we should be in state all the time. This is why alcohol is not only cheating the feeling, but it wastes your money and doesn't give you the value that you're looking for. Instead, we should learn to develop an eco-system of positive emotions. We need to be the vessel for our own happiness. Not outside, not from anyone else, but from within ourselves. We need to generate our own fun.

Chapter 42: Babel

Dear reader

Wow, look at you. Exotic, and familiar--my kind of person. Where did you come from? Heaven? :)

I have always enjoyed meeting people from around the globe.What makes me smile is the different approaches they have to life and the cultures that have shaped them. The world is truly a colourful place. With so much diversity, the beauty is endless.

I recently filled out an "Equal Opportunities Diversity Form", where you have to tick boxes to define yourself. For me, I am "Male", "Mixed White and Asian", "Heterosexual", "Other" for religion, and "British" for nationality. I didn't realize I was so many things. Why can't there be one box? "Human", in my opinion, does just fine. :)

In the eyes of God, would any of these things matter? If an alien race came down one day, would they see any of these things that we use to divide ourselves with? Would they realize how we carved up the world? Would they care how we are separated? Separation after all, is only an illusion.

Chapter 41: Beneath The Armour

Dear reader

I like you a lottle. It's like a little, except a lot. :)

There are some people who wear their hearts on their sleeves. You might see them crying in the cinemas, grumpy when their team is losing, or laughing without a care in a world. Whoever the person, emotions are both natural and beautiful. It is what defines us as human beings.

Through my life I have met many people who have learnt to hide their emotions. I call this "putting on the armour". It's not just men who wear this armour, but women too. For men I have seen it as part of social conditioning. Society teaches men from an early age that they should not show emotion. That somehow expressing their heart is a feminine thing to do. That I agree with. Yet I also agree that there is masculine and feminine in everyone, regardless of gender. What men have learnt to do is to wear that armour proudly, as if hiding their emotions is some form of strength. Fathers, conditioned the same way, raise their sons on these principles.

For women it works a little differently. Women seek positive emotions, but more importantly, the full range of emotions. I use the "shoes" analogy. When a woman has a pair of shoes, quite often there is at least another pair that will tickle her fancy. If she has a bad experience with one pair of shoes, she probably won't wear that pair again. Relationships work in the same way. Women want to experience that love, that freedom, that passion. Yet when she breakups with that person, she is devastated. She then puts on that armour, swearing to herself that she will never feel those negative emotions again. Any subsequent person in her life has to break through this wall to see her true self.

Chapter 40: Mortality

Dear reader

If you're reading this, you're amazing. And you can read. Congrats on both ;). Haha, come here, give me a cuddle.

Recently I visited a hospital ward catering to the elderly, some of whom were in very frail and poorly conditions. While this is a fact of life, and one that we must realize, there is another side to everything. Accepting our mortality, while dark, is also empowering.

We do not have to dwell on death. We only to have to know that one day it will arrive. Knowing about your own mortality can make you sensitive to your own body; your own life. You feel the blood in your veins, the warmth of your beating heart, the air entering your lungs; the energy at your fingertips. For me, it is excitement. We are alive, and there is so much to be happy about right now.

Right now is the present moment. Embracing death is embracing the now. It is living every moment as if it were your last. It is embracing yourself and saying: there is much to do, to explore and to experience. Many people are too concerned with "surviving" life or "coping"  that they forget about "living". As I mentioned before, it is not the destination that matters but the journey. Life is obviously cruel, fragile and unmerciful to everyone who walks it. Yet instead of being powerless to the things that are out of our control, be positive for what you do control: your own life.

Chapter 39: The Pyramid

Dear reader

When I first saw you, I looked for a signature. For only masterpieces have signatures on them. OH! Come here! :)

I have visited the Pyramids twice. They are magnificent. Their sheer size, the intricacy of each limestone block that makes up the whole. I was blown away by the craftsmanship.

It is no wonder that the symbol of the pyramid has been used since the ancient times. It is the model for feudal hierarchy, with the poor at the base of the pyramid and the most powerful at the top. While we can sugar coat history and say this structure no longer exists, it is clear that it does. The kings and queens are the bankers, the famous and the leaders of the world. The story is always the same, only the uniforms have changed. Those successful in this world still have to climb to the top, and those who do not, remain where they are.

So how does one become successful? The unsuccessful have the habit of blaming the rich and famous. That somehow these people had cheated the system, that they got there, not by hard work, but by greed and corruption, that they were lucky. Christians for example, believe that artists such as Jay Z, and Beyonce sold their souls to get their fame. Perhaps they did. I don't think I am qualified to make judgement, for only God can do that. Yet there is an alternative. That these people got their success and fame, not through the devil, not through dirty money, but through hard work. Not to mention, talent. Sometimes we have a habit of externalising success: that they were different to us, that they were special, that the events in their lives were perfectly engineered for their success. How can this be true? No. What defined their success was their ambition, their own belief in themselves and how they took action. Success happens within.

Chapter 38: Express Yourself

Dear reader

Did you know that the word "darling" derives from an Old English term meaning: "favourite minion"? In that case then, today you are indeed, my favourite minion :). Welcome back.

I recently wrote about the consumer mentality that people have in the modern world. Today I suggest that we go back to the producer mentality--to start creating. Where creation begins, emotions can  flow and then you are able to express yourself. Expression equals action. We must take action, to receive.

I suffered from depression some time ago. While there are many levels of this that people deal with, I know from experience that the best way to deal with it was expressing myself through writing. Depression equals suppression. Starting this blog last summer has helped me a tremendous deal with coping with anxiety and negative emotions. It allows me to say what I wanted to say, and to move into transparency. A place where I can see myself, understand myself and evaluate. You will find that expressing yourself is a form of self love. It reminds you of your own body, your own being, your own worth. It reminds you of the beauty of life and the possibilities that you have at your fingertips. It seizes back your individuality: your own uniqueness.

I found that I was at my happiest when I was doing something that I loved. Something that I was passionate about. I feel that one of the main causes of sadness is that sense of being lost in the world, like sheep without a shepherd. We have nothing to aim for. As consumers, we don't really have an aim, other than to survive. After we finish our favourite television show, we dread the work that follows the next day. Producers on the other hand have a new goal that arises every single day, and it excites them. You can make the best out of anything, rather like a child can when he is playing in the playground. It is this child's imagination that is the key to happiness. The alchemy of turning anything dull into something amazing.