Chapter 41: Beneath The Armour

Dear reader

I like you a lottle. It's like a little, except a lot. :)

There are some people who wear their hearts on their sleeves. You might see them crying in the cinemas, grumpy when their team is losing, or laughing without a care in a world. Whoever the person, emotions are both natural and beautiful. It is what defines us as human beings.

Through my life I have met many people who have learnt to hide their emotions. I call this "putting on the armour". It's not just men who wear this armour, but women too. For men I have seen it as part of social conditioning. Society teaches men from an early age that they should not show emotion. That somehow expressing their heart is a feminine thing to do. That I agree with. Yet I also agree that there is masculine and feminine in everyone, regardless of gender. What men have learnt to do is to wear that armour proudly, as if hiding their emotions is some form of strength. Fathers, conditioned the same way, raise their sons on these principles.

For women it works a little differently. Women seek positive emotions, but more importantly, the full range of emotions. I use the "shoes" analogy. When a woman has a pair of shoes, quite often there is at least another pair that will tickle her fancy. If she has a bad experience with one pair of shoes, she probably won't wear that pair again. Relationships work in the same way. Women want to experience that love, that freedom, that passion. Yet when she breakups with that person, she is devastated. She then puts on that armour, swearing to herself that she will never feel those negative emotions again. Any subsequent person in her life has to break through this wall to see her true self.


While this may be considered a good thing, we must remember that emotions are natural and healthy, and to suppress them, is suppressing ourselves. Emotionally, no-one can embrace you when you have that armour on. The analogy speaks true. It would be like hugging a rigid, spiky and uncomfortable tin can. Most notably, the visor of the armour is also on, meaning you can't see who you are hugging. This is my way of explaining how suppressing your emotions leads to bitching (which is avoiding confrontation), depression (which is not doing what your heart demands), and two faced character. The last one is obvious because at the end of the day, people who are hiding how they truly feel are in another person's skin. In short, they are hiding beneath the armour.

What emotions allow you to do is become truly authentic. To look people in the eyes and tell them this is how I feel. This is the real me. I have nothing to hide. What comes is absolute confidence. The more that you have to hide, the more that you have to lose. When the armour is off, people can start to appreciate you. They appreciate you because they trust you. That is why I admire people who are "down to earth"; they speak it how it really is. They don't need to wear the armour.

People only choose to wear the armour because they are afraid. They are afraid of the emotion itself, and they are afraid of what everyone else will think of them. These two fears, like most fears, are not real. Fear is only in the mind. Emotions are not to be afraid of, because emotions are who you are. They are extensions of your own heart. Emotions are only harmful when we choose to dwell on them. This accounts for all forms of emotion. If we choose to live in constant fear, our whole life will suffer. Yet, if we choose to see fear as a correction device, then fear is a friend and ally. Fear corrects us. This is why when we face our fears and conquer them, we feel a moment of euphoria. This is the heart freeing itself. Similarly, if we dwell on anger it will consume us. Yet, if we watch anger like a father watches a child, we can learn from it. Anger for me, has been a catalyst for change. When anger arrives, we take action. Even sadness, when dwelt on, will bring many pains. Yet it is the transition from sadness that causes euphoria. We can see then, that every emotion has a purpose. Every emotion is necessary.

The armour is the ego. Beneath the armour is the human heart. What we have to learn to do is balance and own our emotions. They are our greatest strength, and our greatest weakness. To dwell on them is to believe that we are them. In reality, they are our friends. The greatest art is the art that stirs our emotions. It is the greatest because it is real to those witness it. People want to live their lives without being lied to, and taking the armour off is the first step to start "living" the truth. 

Until next time :)