Dear reader
You're the disco ball of this blog :). Keep on shining.
Letting go. Believe me, we have all been there. Walking into a club with those feelings of anxiety, worried about how you look, feeling those workplace vibes: "keep your head down". Do you notice that most people go straight to the bar when they enter a venue? The first thing people want to do is let go with alcohol, because alcohol was "designed" for that reason. The way I feel when I drink alcohol is a numbness. My senses go hazy, and I cannot appreciate the moment. What I realized is that all of us have a natural ability to raise our state and vibes. Drink alcohol if it helps you, but also see the alternative. A way to let go, with anyone, any time, anywhere. This is how to let go.
If we call this desired feeling "state", the first thing to realize is that getting there doesn't happen when you get to the venue. It happens way before that, hours before. Ideally we should be in state all the time. This is why alcohol is not only cheating the feeling, but it wastes your money and doesn't give you the value that you're looking for. Instead, we should learn to develop an eco-system of positive emotions. We need to be the vessel for our own happiness. Not outside, not from anyone else, but from within ourselves. We need to generate our own fun.
Women are masters at doing this. As a man I have learnt so much from them, as I have from gay men, in what they do to raise their own state. It is all about the fun. While this may seem obvious, it is the chasing of that emotion in your body--that feeling of being alive that is essential. As my previous blog post explained, many of us don't know how to express ourselves. This is usually because we are spending too much time in our own thoughts, and less time connecting to our bodies. We are too worried living to other people's expectations, that we forget about our own expectations. We expect, on the deepest level, to have a great time. Women know how to do this. Their thoughts follow their emotions.
This is why they get into clubs for free. Haha. There are a number of reasons why this is the case, but I believe most of all, promoters for clubs understand that girls know how to have a great time. It is more than looking pretty: it is because a party is only really a party, when people who know how to have fun. Girls at parties may not speak anything of substance, because what they say doesn't matter. It is what they feel. It is not the content, but how you feel when you are saying it. You can literally be talking about donkeys on a motorbike, but if you say it with a huge genuine grin, energy flowing through your body, and lots of expression, she will gravitate to you. This is the great paradox. It is not something you think about, but something you experience. The more that you think about the content, the less fun you're going to be.
It is not about who sounds the smartest, or who looked the best, or who had the most money. None of these things will matter in the morning. It is who had the most fun. This is a metaphor for life. Life is a party. There are two types of people at these venues, and so, two types of people in life. Those sitting on the wall, and those dancing. Those sitting on the wall if anything, are victims of the reality. They end up making fun of others dancing because they are trying to distract themselves about how they cannot let go. It is envy. The consumers. Those dancing are fully engaged in the present moment. They are making their own reality. Like children, they have gone back to the playground. The producers.
Experiment next time if you, like me, find it difficult to let go. Keep talking to a minimum, and rather, feel those emotions stirring in your body. Focus on what you can do next to elevate your own state. Interact with everyone. Destroying the lines and personal boundaries that are programmed into you during the day, releases you from that cell. Find people who want to have fun with you.
You are, after all, the sum of the five people who you spend the most time with. Make sure those people elevate you, and are not leaching from you.
Have a great weekend :)
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