Chapter 25: All in the Smile

Dear reader,

Long time, no see. Please, take a seat. :)

It is all in the smile. Imagine for me two strangers in a foreign land who speak different languages. They cross each other in a busy market square between the isles of exotic food and for a moment they catch eyes with one another. The man breathes out to hide his belly, the woman leans forward to bring out her chest. There is a connection. She smiles at him and he smiles back and yet, they move on perhaps never to meet again.

The smile to me is a universal truth. It speaks over language barriers, over gender and context. A simple twitch in the face has never meant nor changed so much. It makes an average dancer look great, a politician look competent, a woman more beautiful and a baby irresistible.

My papa once told me that in some places people are taught how to smile. It made me laugh at the time to hear that this was the case in some major corporations. That some employees simply looked too serious. It reminds me of some of my experiences with people who have no time to smile in fear of not getting the job done. Interestingly most people choose not to smile because work, rather like school, appears to be a serious and hard ordeal. Yet we never to stop ask ourselves how much easier it would be if we took it a little less seriously and instead of grumbling about work, make it an enjoyable activity by laughing at ourselves: by smiling a little more.

Smiling is our strength. There are those who don't want to see you at your best and believe me these kinds of people will do anything to wipe that smile from your face. To some people smiling is a crime and an unnatural phenomenon. If you don't believe me, play my harmless social experiment the next time you are out and see for yourself.

For every person you meet eyes with, I want you to smile back. It will feel weird at first, believe me it was for me the first time I tried it. Though when you do you will notice immediate results not just from the reactions but also from within yourself. Haha, and I know what you are thinking. "Yes Huli, reactions like: this guy's on drugs, where's my gun?". This may be true to the kind of smile that you give out. Generally however if you keep it brief and genuine what you will tend to find is the following:

1. People smile back: the effect of smiling is contagious. The positive energy behind a smile will also transfer. This is the transference of state principle. Whatever you are feeling will transfer onto the person you make contact with. Thus, the receiving person of the smile will look at you with curiosity because he or she wants to know what you are smiling about. On a deeper level they want to feel what you are feeling underneath that smile.

2. People have no reaction. This is a good thing for you. Smiling for the sake of feeling good will teach you to self generate happiness and positive emotions. One of the most attractive qualities of a man or woman is the ability to self generate positive emotions. If they do not smile back then take this as confirmation about the energy that you have within you and the absence of it within them. Remember the smile is all about your happiness and if people choose to receive it then great, but if not it is irrelevant so long as you are happy.

3. People frown. Don't worry, you are not going to get arrested for smiling at someone. For me this has the effect of realizing how unnatural societies conditioning has us react towards one another; how disconnected people are from one another and how something as delicate as a smile can invade someone's personal space. I feel that the people who give you this response are the people living in lower levels of consciousness: fear, anger and jealousy. Thus it is possible that these feelings occur because to them those negative emotions are familiar territory and smiling person is like a foreign invader.

And that is the thought that I leave you with today :). A very simple concept but nonetheless very powerful. If there is one thing the world needs more of it is smiling people. Believe me, I need to smile more myself. As I have said on numerous occasions: start with yourself and the world will follow. Smiling will reduce your fears, improve your confidence and make you tenfold better socially. It raises you up, removes your weaknesses and makes you someone you can be proud of. There is also a lovely quote which says: "When death smiles at you the only thing a man can do is smile back."

Enjoy your week, I'll speak to you soon :).