Chapter 12: Understanding Women

Dear reader,

Woohoo! My favourite person is back :). Here, have a donut. It's fattening but it's also digital, so don't you worry :).

Today I feel great: the sun is shining, I've exercised loads, I'm eating well, and I am receiving waves of inspiration fueling productivity. I thought that today I would share something very special with you all :). To the female readers of this blog, what I'm about to write may humor you. To the male readers, this may very well enlighten you....or make you very grumpy. Let's find out :P.

When I was eight years old I genuinely believed that women had psychic abilities. This premonition came to me one lunch time during a school recital where the teacher of my other class gave us the most wicked smile I had ever seen and she had this twinkling glint in her eye as if she was going to turn us all into frogs. Ok, fine. I had an over active imagination. Yet, since that day I have been very curious about the opposite sex. Can they see things we can't? Do they have a sixth sense? Why is it that women can pack things in a suitcase or lunchbox better than any man can? These questions had me begging for answers.

Growing up with a sister and a mama took me one step closer to the truth. I wondered why women rarely changed the toilet roll after finishing it, or why women would eat something but never finish it (like a packet of crisps or a sandwich). Or, why they would buy so many products and never use them. Why do women never finish their food on their plate? Why do women have truck loads of bags, shoes, dresses and still want more, even though they only wear these items once? Why do women go to the toilet in pairs? I will attempt...and I repeat, attempt, to explain :D, haha.
I preface by saying that every woman is different and unique in their own way but I feel that these 5 points are biological tendencies inherent in the majority of women. Are you ready? :P.

1. Women need to live in abundance. On a very shallow level, women are material girls living in a material world (Madonna song right there) and in my experience do women love their goodies. They love to be surrounded by things they own and in this day and age with so many products on the market they always want more. Hence why a woman needs as many pair of shoes in her closet as humanly possible. On a deeper level though, why is this the case? I believe it is for their own security and well being. Biologically women are attracted to people who will look after her and so buying things (even if this means food shopping) will make her feel more comfortable and thus more happy and fulfilled. On an even deeper level this explains why wealthy men are attractive to women as they naturally provide that abundance and security in their wealth. Further, on an even deeper level then that, an abundance of good energy in a man is even more attractive to a woman, a man does not necessarily need to be the most wealthy or handsome, he just needs to be a fire for emotion, which leads me onto my second point.
2. Women are emotional junkies. They are extremely in touch with their emotions. When you hear a story from a guy friend he will keep it to the facts: the location, who was there and what happened. A woman will explain the story such as: "And he was like..." and "I was like..." and "I felt like!"--the point is that the facts of the story rarely have any significance to the woman. In my experience it is the emotion of the moment that matters more to them. Listen to a woman telling a story--in writing it is the most boring thing in the universe, but by the way she tells it I could listen all day because it is emotionally captivating. When her girl friends are listening to the story they will be fishing for those emotions.This is why most women love chick flicks or romantic comedies. Again, as men we may see the story as lame and technically stupid with the absence of guns, explosions and bikini clad models. Yet, for a women there is all of this unseen excitement going on in her mind. She emotes with the film--she puts herself in the character's shoes and experiences all of those positive emotions. If you are a boyfriend and she is sitting next to you, she will want to hug and kiss you while seeing it on the big screen because she wants to experience that emotion there and then with you. This leads me onto two more points. The first being that women want to enjoy the emotional ride of life. Think of it like a film. A woman wants to experience every little detail of the film from start to finish, the opening act, the tension, the ups and the downs and finally the climax. Women bitch not because they like to be called a bitch. They do it because of the drama, for the emotional fix that they get from talking about other people and sharing the emotion with their girls.
3. Women are sweethearts--most of the time. Haha, no seriously. Emotional beings are soft and compassionate. A woman's natural tendency is maternal. Deep beneath her dragon side and her "Who  Run the World!? Girls!" ego, there is a lot of vulnerability and innocence down there. Women want what every Disney princess wants: a happy ever after. They want to find a Prince Charming in the shape of a modern man who is also extremely badass, they want a big palace with everything they need, and they want to be treated like a princess, with everyone giving her validation as the most wonderful thing on the planet. Now, that might sound like a lot to ask, and she might sound like a spoilt brat but in her reality it's not about being spoilt, it is about the positive emotions. Women are more connected to the meaning of life than men are in my opinion because they seek positive emotions and positive energies: which I think is the reason for our existence.
4. Women are social creatures. They grow confidence through connectivity rather than in isolation. I feel that very few women work alone, unlike the great men of our time who would sit in studies pondering the physics of the universe, a woman is at her strongest when she has equally minded girls around her. You can see it when you go to a social gathering: women always use each other for support--they become confident, they feel more sexy and genuinely they look more sexy too because of this self fulfilling prophecy. As men we can learn a lot from dropping our pride and listening to what she has to say for a change.
5. Women are easily influenced. Social conditioning, as I have mentioned, effects women the most as they are constantly engaged with social media that tells them how to behave. This goes from being influenced to what they should wear, what they should eat, and how they should act. My point is, that if Rihanna is wearing skimpy shorts then it is OK for you as a girl to wear them out, even if the girl feels it was her choice her subconscious had already been affected. Thus, women's lifestyle is largely governed by external stimulus. This is why women constantly ask you questions such as: "Do I look fat in this dress?", "Do you think my boobs are too small?". There would never be a reason for them to ask these questions if they didn't have a constant point of reference hitting their face 24-7 that made them feel bad about themselves. The sad but honest truth. Many women are insecure--even the most beautiful have problems. As men we have to be more patient with these insecurities and keep her up on the throne sitting on our lap where she belongs. 

The bottom line is: women are amazing and mind boggling creatures and to truly understand every single one is an impossible task. Even the world renowned scientific genius, Stephen Hawking has described women as a complete mystery. That is the gift and the curse. We will never know all of the secrets beneath those dazzling locks and  those gorgeous eyes but we can guess, and above all, we can admire, and be more sensitive to their needs. At the end of the day we have to remember one important thing: they are people.

Have a great Sunday :). We'll talk soon.